How My Roommates' OneNightStand Changed My Life
by asymmetricalpasta03
Summary: Phineaus Furley TS2:Uni and his college roommates have more to deal with than just their final exams. But, thus is life, and these three jump right in. Follows two academic years and jumps to the important parts after that. If this is good enough, I'll keep going.
1. Roxanna's End of Term Party

_Since they deleted player stories off the Sims Wiki, I'm going to abuse Fanfiction for these now. Narrator is Phineaus Furley, from the University game for the second installment, if you're unfamiliar. The college is linked to Pleasantview, if any of those names come up. _

* * *

I always thought you had to be in a fraternity to party like that. In case you were wondering, it was the first celebration of the year for the first seniors to actually make it that far in Academie Le Tour's last twenty years. The academic rigor is usually too much for most students to handle; they almost all transfer to Sim State. The honors this year went to Jonah Powers and Roxanna "Roxie" Sharpe. They were preparing to graduate – not soon enough, according to Roxanna's brother. She lived separately from her semi-ex-boyfriend, the term I used to describe the relationship that was off, now on again. She had his kids her sophomore year, and the deadbeat wanted nothing to do with his twin daughters, now almost two years old. I would shake my head every time I thought about the Sharpe twins, Kelly and Tuesday. I always wanted kids. How could a father not want his own children?

But I went _way _off on a tangent there. The point was, it was the first big party off the year, and we were all invited. Marla, Delilah, Emily…all very attractive girls, none of whom were interested in being seen with me, let alone breeding. Yes, I was a twenty-year-old virgin. Get over it. Emily was going out with a guy from SSU and Delilah was with Roxanna's brother Ed, although she was apparently unaware, but for Ed, we all just backed off. And rumor had it shrinking violet Marla was _engaged_ to some mystery guy.

And then there was our threesome: the motliest crew on campus: me, Chazwick Whippler, and Ellen Frost. We were all on the same floor of our wing freshman year: Chaz and I were roommates and Ellen lived next door with some girl called Kay. Chaz took to Ellen and has been harboring some crush on her since. She remains clueless, probably because he has no problem flirting in front of her and he treats her the same as every other girl. Which isn't true…the man is prouder of his sexual escapades than Akon. But perhaps it was that reluctance to make the first move that made me actually believe he was serious with her. But try to make a woman believe she's different in your eyes than every other girl you've hit.

So, yeah. Party at the Sharpes'. Didn't think it would take long for the beer to come out. Just because we're students at a prestigious college doesn't mean we don't like to get hammered. Soon, it was all-out drinking battle between Powers and Erik Forte. I drunkenly hit on Emily Lee, who was the second-most sober person at the party…well, I guess she was the most sober after Marla left before the cops busted us.

So, rejected, I went over to sit by Chazwick and lament. Which was a mistake. He was already sitting with Ellen. I hid behind the potted plant, trying not to step on a passed-out Ed. I waited.

"Hey…" he slurred. She, horribly red in the face, looked at him with her perpetual scowl. It was his "fault" she was here instead of studying for her midterms.

"What?" she snapped fairly cognitively.

"Hey…I wanna tell ya somethin'…"

"Ihcan wait till yur sober." (A/N: To make sense of this, you may want to try saying some of it aloud.)

"Nah really. I cantell ya when I am, 'cause it'll be gone…"

"Hmph."

"And, ya know…drunken wor's are jus' sober though's."

"It," she said, before hiccupping. "Betta be good, Chiz."

"Yeah…I love ya, Eln."

"In other words," she said, regaining all her motor of her jaw, "ya ran outta girls an' wanna get in my pants."

"Eln. People who love each otha let them in pan's."

"I'll hafta be drunker than this."

While he kept from saying it, I could tell by the look on his face, it was "Challenge Accepted." He got up and came back with two cups. While apparently sober enough to say no to sex, she wasn't sober enough to care what was really in the cups. She downed the whole Dixie cup in one and the two went off to either get another beer or...any number of other things.

I didn't see them the rest of the night…or, anyone else for that matter. I decided I liked it in my corner by Ed and stayed there, eventually passing out.

* * *

"Get up, man."

"What…?"

"We passed out," said the voice right above me. I blearily opened my eyes. Ed had gotten up. Standing on his knees, he looked around at the room, which still smelt of alcohol and was a rather more offensive shade of orange than the night before. "Tell me we didn't – "

"Don't even go there, Ed."

"Aw, Finn, if Del saw that…"

"I don't think your chances with her have been affected at all, Ed." I said, sitting up.

"Yeah, well, that's simple for you to say…you don't know her like I do. She judges, man, and once her opinion is formed, you're set like that."

"Therefore, her opinion of you should've been set ages ago and nothing should've changed." I stood, wobbling slightly on legs that felt like jello. "You have class, bro?"

"Nah…thank God…"

"Wondered if you two were ever getting up," said a voice from the doorway. I looked where Ed was staring. Roxanna had entered with one of her red-haired daughters on each hip. "I was about to call an ambulance."

"Hey, sis."

"Yeah, don't "Hey, sis" me," she snapped irately. "You weren't the one who had to get up hungover and early to get the kids." She was talking like Ed was the irresponsible father. Ed got up and crossed to her. She cocked her hips and he relieved her of one of the twins from the higher one. Then he stumbled back to me in the plant corner.

"She's…?" I said, indicating the child reaching for my face.

"Kelly: her eyes are green." Then we went silent. Roxanna had changed a lot since she had the twins; she wouldn't have had any problem with our behavior last night pre-pregnancy. Her disapproving eyes, exactly like her daughter's, would not stop staring disapprovingly at us. I shuffled my feet awkwardly. The baby had my glasses in her fist but droppped them so they were hanging off my opposite ear. The silence was too loud for me. Luckily I had an excuse.

"Well, you may not have class, but I do. Plus, I don't know where El and Chazwick got to."

"Oh, they left fairly early. Ellen was drunk as a freakin' skunk and Chaz had his nasty face on." Why does she remember that? Better yet, why does she know what "that" face looks like on Chaz?

"Anyway…I'll call you later, Ed." I said, wobbling my way to the door.

* * *

_If you're still reading this, I must applaud you. This, to me, is good, but I can't imagine anyone else caring. Anyway, if it's good enough, I know exactly where I want this to go and will continue. These always start out really slowly, but they'll get better. Reviews always welcome here._


	2. Arguing on Someone Else's Behalf

_Well, I finally get around to updating tonight. Perhaps I should update some of the _other_ stories, and probably will, but in the meantime, enjoy a backstory. This installment gets a little gross and politically-fueled, but it's okay. I don't know if I got Ellen's POV quite correct (I support Fin's ideas), but I tried. (I'm going to get flamed by the females...)_

* * *

Months passed with no addition to this story. But I think we all know where this is going. Unless you don't. Ok, I'll continue.

The only thing worth mentioning here is Ellen started becoming crankier than usual (which, to be completely honest, frightened the hell out of me). Along with it, though, her subdued moments seemed to be entirely depression-based. She started getting jumpy and nervous when she was in the room with Chazwick and me. Every time I'd ask her, though, she'd snap in my face and leave.

We knew something was up when she finally called us down roughly four months later. To be clear: Ellen _hated _us. She hated living with us, looking at us, talking to us. Well, apparently, it was only _me_ she had the problem with.

"Ok. Here it goes." Right after she said it, however, she sealed her lips shut and refused to look at us.

"For the love of God, woman, talk!" Chaz said, lifting his beer as though to point at her. Ellen shot a dart from her eye and sat up straight again.

"Fine. Then I'll just come out with it instead of _easing_ into it. I've been missing periods."

Well, I don't know about Chazwick, but _I'd_ certainly heard more than I needed.

"And?"

"Well, usually, when that happens, it means there's going to be a new roommate."

"Ellen, stop with the euphemisms," I said, "we both know you're having a baby by now, so spit it out."

Both Ellen and Chaz froze staring at me.

"How long have you known?" she asked, horrified.

I shrugged. "Ten seconds. But _something_ had to stop the riddlespeak."

"Wait. You are?"

Chaz turned the blank eyes to Ellen. She blinked.

"Yeah. I am."

"You said usually! What if it isn't?"

Chaz was being a _bit_ too hopeful. Which made me have to ask.

"It isn't _your_ baby, is it, Chaz?"

"It isn't your business if I slept with Ellen!"

"Don't get defensive, Chaz, it's yours!" Ellen yelled.

"Bull! It isn't! It _can't_ be!"

"Chaz! Listen to me! I don't go out every Friday night and shag the first man I meet! It. Is. Yours!"

Chaz kicked over the makeshift coffee table and stormed upstairs. Ellen watched him go with the most pathetic look on her face. My heart broke for her, but I didn't know what to do to fix it.

"Ellen…"

"I can't. I can't have a baby. I can't. I have school and a career to think about." She sank into the threadbare recliner, desperately trying to cry. "I never should've gone. If Roxie never had that party, none of this would've happened."

"Ellen, blaming this on Roxanna is a bit low, don't you think?" I was trying to sympathize, but it wasn't working out.

"If she hadn't had that party, I would have been back here studying instead of drunk off my ass at her place, then escorted ever-so-helpfully by _Chazwick_ –" she called up the stairs, "and somehow giving consent for that bastard to knock me up!"

In psychology, they like to call this stage of grief the "anger" stage. Ellen went through shock and denial when she first found out, and is now on stage 2. Unfortunately, she was taking it out on me.

"No. I won't do it. If he won't, I won't." Ellen stood up and started pacing. "I'm not doing it. I'm getting it removed."

"No." I said. She shot a dart at me. I knew what she wanted and I wasn't about to stand for it.

"Don't you tell me what to do, Fin. It's my body."

"Actually, I think it belongs to that," I said, pointing at her midsection.

Her eye twitched. "Why don't we ask it what it wants, then? Oh, right, because it can't talk."

"It couldn't full-term or newly-born, either. Does that make it okay to kill it?"

It kept twitching. She was not in the mood for it. I was angering her and making her think at the same time.

"Seriously, though. You give birth, I kill it. I get sent to prison. You don't give birth, but still kill it, it's a woman's right. I don't understand the difference."

It finally stopped twitching. She had made a decision, I could tell. Her brown eyes narrowed at me.

"Fine. Fine. You win. But it's _your_ problem, you hear me? You want it, not me and certainly not Chazwick. If you want it so damn bad, _you take care of it._"

I was going to eventually suggest putting it up for adoption. I think I somehow inadvertently adopted it.

"Yes?" Ellen said, her voice becoming dangerously high. I don't know what kind of look was on my face that she had to ask. "Then I guess I'll just have my way with it. No point in keeping something nobody wants."

"No!" I yelled getting to my feet. "What right do you have to punish it for your mistakes?"

"What right do you have to punish me for his?" she screamed back.

"Who's punishing you?" I yelled, throwing my hands in the air.

"You said you'd take care of it once it's born. What about before that? _You_ don't have to be pregnant for the next six months," she said, poking me in the chest. "_You_ didn't have to put up with vomiting at all hours. _You_ don't have to outgrow all your clothes to make room for a whiny bag of skin._ Your _breasts won't be the ones sagging and swollen to match the feet. _You_ won't have to worry about having the damn thing in the middle of exams! _You_ aren't going to start looking like a mess! _You_ won't get the stares, or the names, or the laughter from everyone you know!"

"Ellen." I tried to be calm. "If I could take that child and carry it for you, I would."

She scoffed. "Just like a man to say. Because no matter how many times you say that, you can't. How _convenient_."

Maybe I _didn't_ really want to be pregnant. But if it involved saving the child… they still wouldn't listen. I wasn't her husband. Hell, I wasn't even the baby's _father_. Who would believe me when I said I cared for a baby that wasn't mine? And even if they did, so what? No one's opinion matters but the mother's. Which is why I had to sway her toward seeing it my way before the clinics opened in the A.M.

"Ellen. If your parents didn't want you, what would you think of them?"

"That they should've tried harder to prevent the mistakes."

"And you're exempt?"

"I'm trying to prevent mistakes."

"No, Ellen, you're trying to _erase_ mistakes." Then I thought of something.

"Wait. You said you were going to carry it for six months." She nodded, obviously not seeing where this was going. "Normal gestation is nine. You've been pregnant for three months, at least." I noticed a bit of red tinge her face but she otherwise gave no indication she knew I had her trapped. "Why did you wait so long to decide on this? Why now, that you only have a few weeks left before you can't do it anymore? Why did you wait to tell Chaz and me before deciding you were going through with the abortion?"

She blinked twice. "I don't have to explain myself to you, Phineaus." And she turned on her heel, ran out the door and took out the beater for a drive. I watched her go and hoped she wasn't going to drink. I know she was stressed, but there was no reason anymore for her to hurt her baby.

Because it was hers.

Whether she liked it or not.

I touched a serious nerve with her there. She was nervous and scared. I think she was hoping for something to go beyond what she already had with Chaz.

I don't recall them talking since that night. I can't recall her ever liking him before that night, either. But it was clear she brought it up for one reason and one only.

She'd fallen in love and thought she had an anchor.

* * *

_Now I don't know anything about love, sex or babies, but that type of stuff _HAS_ to change a person somehow. I'm hoping I got it right. I didn't want to get rid of the baby (even though I was capable through modding). This is going somewhere special with the baby, so if anyone's actually reading this, stay tuned (#shot)._


	3. Confused on Many Levels

_Yeah, another product of a sleepless night, it's time for some fanfic. Yay! _

* * *

If I had brought up the baby again, I had no doubt in my mind that Ellen would wring my neck dry. She came back the next day after her class. She looked tired and disheveled, but otherwise normal. She tossed herself into the armchair with T-V of the encyclopedia and stayed there well into the evening.

Chaz, on the other hand, sat in a completely different part of the house (the kitchen), with a grimy tub filled to the top with ice and beer at his side so he wouldn't have to keep getting up. I sat by him (because he was at the table) and started on my midterm speech about llama preservation. He chugged beer and kept crushing the empty cans against his head. It finally became too irritating for me.

"Can you stop?"

"Bet I can smush a full one," he slurred with a drunken grin, completely ignoring my question.

"Hey, now that _you're_ smashed," I said, laying down the offensive pen, "can I talk to you about last night?"

He stopped trying to flatten the drink against his ear and a dark shadow fell over his grimacing face.

"Like what?"

"Like, did you have to be that mean to her?"

"Are you a kid or something?" What?

"No, Chazwick, I'm more of an adult than you are these days. I just can't believe you were completely sober last night and still acted that way." Wait…no, he had a beer. I was wrong. Still, he wasn't near as wasted as he was at this time. "I mean, she's your girlfriend and that's your child. I don't understand."

Chaz stared at me, confused (and a bit crosseyed). He hiccupped and belched before saying, "She ain't my girlfriend."

I blinked. "What?" My turn to be utterly befuddled. After last night, I thought they had just gotten really good at hiding it all this time, and didn't want me to know. Maybe somehow they got it in their heads I had my own crush on Ellen (which was partly true, but not to near the extent of Chaz's) or Chaz (I _had_ been accused of that back in high school with a guy called Rick; there I go with tangents again), and wanted to avoid offending me, so said nothing. Maybe they were just sort of ashamed of that night and wanted to take it more slowly. But I thought for sure that having consummated they were an item of some sort!

"What do you mean, she isn't your girlfriend?"

Chaz had given up on crushing the can and had instead started to drink (by drink, I mean pour all over his face because he'd already chugged about half a twelve-pack). He put it down for a minute as he looked right into my eyes (impressive for a man over the limit) and said seriously, "She isn't. We never got together."

"So did you consummate?"

"Yeah, I consumed it," he said, attempting another swig of the beer. I assumed that he was referring to the drink.

"No, not consume. Consumate." He kept staring at me. "Did you sleep with her, is what I'm asking."

"Ohhhh. What didn't you just say that? I thought you asked if I ate 'er or something. Yeah, I fucked 'er a couple nights."

"And you didn't think that could get her pregnant?"

"So she's pregnant?"

"I don't know if she is anymore!" I said, lowering my voice. "She wanted an abortion last night, and not seeing her all morning, she may damn well have set one up. Maybe even gotten one, if it was a slow day!"

"K."

_K?!_ Really? I just tell you your not-girlfriend wanted to abort your child, and all you say is "_K_"?! Even drunk, that's pretty low!

"What do you mean, 'K'?"

"So she got rid of it. Fine."

"No, I don't know if she did. I tried to talk her out of it last night and I think I got her convinced. But does anyone really know what that woman's thinking?"

"Talking about me still, are we?" Oops. I forgot to lower my voice back. I think K threw me a bit and it slipped my mind that she was in the _adjacent room_.

"Uh…"

"SO WHAT?" Chaz yelled. "WE CAN TALK ABOUT WHATEVE' WE WANT IN HERE."

It went quiet again.

"I want a sandwich," Chaz said.

"Go make one."

"Eln," Chaz called, "come make me a sandwich."

"Make it yourself, you dick."

"What did you say about my dick?" Chaz grinned drunkenly (she couldn't see it). "You want it? You can have if you make me a sandwich."

"Fuck you."

"No, Eln." I'm starting to assume that's become somewhat of a pet name for her. "The point is to fuck _you_."

No response. She knew he was drunk, and that he wasn't going to stop until well after the hangover.

"Fin, go make me a sandwich."

I gathered my speech and decided to work on the coffee table instead. Ellen was still curled up with her encyclopedia volume.

"Is there a reason you two are in there gossiping about me while drunk?"

"I'm not drunk," I said defensively.

"He sure as hell is."

"Ellen, I watched him down at least two beers. I _know_ he's drunk."

"You haven't answered my question, Phineaus. Why are you talking about me?"

"I wanted to see what he thought about this whole ordeal. Half the story is his, after all."

"What's there to know? He got some. I got something else."

She hadn't looked up once. I had to ask.

"So, uh, Ellen." She flicked her eyes at me. "When's your appointment?"

"My what?"

Had she forgotten? "Nothing."

She returned to her reading. After a few minutes (during which I returned to my speech) she said, "Oh, you're giving up? I should make an appointment after all?"

"No!" I said hastily, my full attention back on topic. "I-I had just assumed, since you were late coming in this morning -"

"I stayed over at Lucy's." Who Lucy was, I didn't know. "She's pregnant, too. Her sister-in-law's pretty excited. Both of them, actually. Imagine, being excited about a baby."

I _was_ excited, actually. I bent my head over my essay, as to hide my face blushing.

"But, she seems to like it. Both of them come from a large family," Ellen went on. "Lucy has three little brothers, did you know that?" I still didn't know who Lucy was. "I think I'll settle there after graduation," she finished, straying from her topic.

"With the baby?"

She didn't answer. I wasn't getting anything straight from this woman; it was both worrying and aggravating me. Still, she said "too". That probably meant she was, in fact, still pregnant. I hoped, anyway, and was afraid to push it with her, for fear she might take it away. I was pretty sure she knew I was excited about the baby, the same way Lucy's baby's aunt was. So, was I it's "uncle"? More excitement. I went back in the kitchen and sat at the table with Chazwick, who'd finally passed out, cuddling a head of lettuce.

* * *

Maybe Chaz didn't consider Ellen his girlfriend, but I did notice the Frost Queen becoming much warmer toward him, at least when he was sober. Let me restate what I put at the beginning of the last chapter: Ellen really didn't like living with us. Maybe not with those words, but she had absolutely no problem letting us know that through our entire sophomore year. But this year, whatever the case, she had begun to warm up to us. But, like I said, mostly Chaz. I think she was angry at me for guilting her out of her abortion. But she still hadn't talked herself back into it, so that must mean something.

The end of our junior year was approaching. As if the poor girl didn't have enough to stress about, our final exams were coming up. I was a Poly-Sci major: as long as I could argue it, I'd be fine. Chaz...was a... I don't remember anymore, but it wasn't likely he would've cared no matter what major he was in. Ellen was an Econ and always became high-strung as hell when exams of any kind come around. Heaven help you if you had the misfortune to be around her during exams. She was that straight-A, honor roll student in high school, and had a tendency to completely lose her mind if she couldn't recite the textbook by heart.

"I don't understand z-values, _still_," she said, her first stage _frustration_ kicking in around mid-April. "It was a _freshman_ class and I still don't get it."

Chaz and me ignored her, like we did every semester.

"And now I have _this _to worry about," she went on, thumping her hand on her middle, "going off in the middle of exams."

"Fin," Chaz said, not taking his eyes off his reading (yes, exams even got Chaz to _read_), "when was Power's party?"

"Right before term, Chaz."

"How many months roughly?"

"About four."

Ellen shut up after that.

She also had a bad habit of obsessive-compulsively checking her grades. She was on the computer looking at them after the exams were finally over and let out a shriek like someone had just cut off her hand. Turned out, she received a C in an important class. I thought she was being murdered.

"Don't DO that!" I screamed. "Nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"I just had one! Look at that! Do you realize how poorly I did on the final to achieve THAT?"

I slapped the back of her head. She called abuse. I called her bluff; I barely touched her. Chaz called for a sandwich. Ellen called out obscenities.

Since we all live so far from our homes, we just live near campus during the summers. I was seriously considering leaving this time, except I had a crippling fear that Ellen would do something stupid to the baby while I was gone. Though, no self-respecting clinic would do it to a midterm baby, she could still induce other ways to kill it, even by accident. I wound up keeping a closer eye than normal on her. Which didn't pass unnoticed.

"Watch the stairs," I said one evening, following her out. She wanted to go visiting toward the end of July and found the seat on the beater didn't go back far enough to accommodate a woman her size, so she made me driver her.

"Fin. I don't have to be taught how to be pregnant. I make the adjustments I need just fine by myself."

"Are you sure you don't want to drive?" I said, getting in behind the wheel.

"Of COURSE I want to drive. I just can't fit."

She directed me into Pleasantview and in front of this gothic mansion. _This_ was her friend's house?

"You can come in, if you want. If nothing else, I think you'll like the little girl here."

"Nah, I was thinking about looking around town. We all know we'll wind up here after school. I want to see the neighborhood."

"Well, like I said, around eleven, come back." She looked like she wanted to continue. The door was open and her one leg was out.

"You need help?"

"I said I don't need help being pregnant, Fin." I got out anyway, went around and held out my hand to her. I like to consider myself a gentleman, and this was something they did, right? And if she didn't like it, she didn't have to take it like she did. "You never stop."

"Well, it _is_ my fault you're like this," I joked. "Least I can do is get the baby out of the seat."

Her brow furrowed but she smiled in spite. "Then carry it in, too." She took my hands and pushed her belly up with them. I laughed nervously and removed my hands. She still had that look on her face. I turned to go back in the car. "Hey." I turned back to her. She approached me.

"Thanks for driving." It sounded like it was painful for her to say. Come to think of it, it took a lot for Ellen to thank or apologize (I've still never heard her apologize for anything). She reached up on her toes and pulled my shoulders down closer to her height. And proceeded to kiss me on the cheek. She smiled at me and then took off slowly for the door.

My face burnt where she touched it. I got back in the beater and sat there for several minutes contemplating. Now I was confused. I knew she kept the baby out of love, not for it necessarily, but for someone else. I had assumed these last four months it was because it was Chaz's baby and she was in love with him.

Now I wondered if since I had suggested she keep it, she did because she was in love with me?

* * *

_Thoughts? I'll be revisiting Chazwick's responses closer to the due date, because being drunk wasn't the best time for Phineaus to conduct an interview. _


	4. Life and Truth

_g. Just...g._

* * *

I took several spins around Pleasantview, having no idea what I was doing, nor what I was going to do when I got back for Ellen. Part of me really wanted to approach the topic; another part wanted to clamp my mouth shut and never say a word about it.

I can't pretend to you I'd never been attracted to Ellen. But I also realized it would never work between us, and I was never all that interested. Mostly for this reason: Ellen wanted a career. I wanted a wife and kids. I could never see myself with a woman who didn't want a family. I think Ellen has made it completely clear she wasn't. Plus…she and I were on different ends of the personality spectrum. True to her name, Ellen could be a bit…icy.

Which did not explain her sudden change in character. Why would she do that out of absolutely nowhere?

My head was spinning. This made no sense.

Let's suppose I asked her. What would I tell her? I'm interested? Or that I'm not? Would that affect the baby? Forget the baby for a second, how will that affect Chaz and me? They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and Ellen was already difficult to live with. Did I want to make her worse?

Let's say I didn't. … Yeah, leaving it alone seemed like the better idea in the long run, at least as far as living. But then let's say _she_ brought it up. Then we have the above scenario to play out again. Or if she didn't. Maybe she thinks she saw something in me that invited her in and was waiting for me to make the next move. Then if I don't, she might start steadily becoming more impatient. She'll think I'm rejecting her. And then all hell could break loose, because knowing her, she'll keep it in long as she can and then let the dam burst. And then all of us are screwed.

She came out an hour later. I didn't look at her. She gave me a weird look that was apparently supposed to come across as "playfully annoyed" as she said "Not going to open it?" with a laugh. I smiled dryly, and found myself unable, so it was a kind of smirk. Maybe a grimace. Doesn't matter. I just wanted to get alone again.

"Say something."

"Like?" I asked her.

"Anything. How's town? What did you see? Pick out anything you like? Peg the house you want, or do you think you'll be better elsewhere?"

Was she inviting this? "Obviously, there's something on your mind and I don't like it there." Yep, she was.

"Ab…about earlier…" I started. No, I didn't like that. How about: "That is, have you…?" Didn't like that either. Let's try this: "El, why did you decide to keep it? The baby."

She stayed quiet; I assumed she was thinking. "Well, for one, I was already past the deadline. Believe me, I asked. I told you I wanted it, and was actually going to go through with it. But," she said, laughing dangerously under her breath, "_you_ threw me, Fin. You and your questioning and demands threw me off something fierce, and by the time I was back on the track, it was too late and none of them would perform it."

I think she was blaming me.

"Yeah, and how long did that take? For you to make the decision again?"

"Near two weeks."

"Ellen," I said, "there _has_ to be another reason. How long had you known before we did?"

"I missed two. So, since late February."

"You told us in March. Why did you wait to tell us before you went through with it?"

She went quiet. I reached the interstate before she spoke again. "I figured the father should know."

Maybe I was right the first time. "Are you…don't bite my head off, Ellen, but…are you…you know…in love with him?"

Another few seconds passed. "Let me ask you something, Phineaus. Chazwick is the most irresponsible, disgusting, lazy pig I have ever had the misfortune to meet. He's always drunk. He won't get anywhere in life. I'm surprised – nay, shocked – he made it through as much college as he has. All that in consideration, Phineaus, would _you_ want to admit to _anyone_ you'd fallen in love with _that_?"

"You haven't answered my question, Ellen."

Out of the corner of my eye, she folded her arms and turned her face from me. This conversation was over, but I think I had my answer. I was initially disappointed, but ultimately wound up relieved. It was Chaz, not me.

"Why?"

I felt my face turn red. "No reason. I just want to make sure that you and the baby are taken care of."

I nearly drove headfirst into the speed limit sign. Ellen hit me hard in the arm and jarred the wheel. I came to a halt on the side of the road, flipped on the blinkers (hoping they still worked) and let her have it.

"_DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH, WOMAN? YOU NEARLY KILLED US BACK THERE!"_

Then, taking me by the front of my shirt, she pulled my face to hers and let _me_ have it.

"Are you suggesting, wise-guy, that just because I have a useless dependent on the way, I need someone to take care of me? That I'm going to turn into some helpless woman who can't decide right from left without a man to point me?" she snarled. I pushed her away.

"That's it? You nearly killed us both because you were _offended_?"

"I had a point to make and needed your attention."

"Get in the back."

"_Pardon_?"

"Get in the back seat of the fucking car." I was usually very patient, but the sign nearly took my head off, so I wasn't in the greatest of moods.

"See, when a girl says something like 'pardon?' or 'excuse me?', she wants you to _fix_ what you said, not repeat yourself. You'll do well to learn that, Fin, if you ever want a girlfriend."

"See, when I tell you to _get in the back seat of the goddamn car_, I want you to do it and not throw your feminist bullshit in my face. You'll do best to remember that, Ellen, if you don't intend on giving birth in that spot."

"I'm not due for two months, wise-guy."

"Exactly, smartass."

We sat there for another two hours on the side of the road, until highway patrol made us leave. We didn't speak the rest of the ride, until I parked the beater in the garage and unlocked the front door.

"And," I said as she went to go in, blocking her off. "I suggest you start being _real_ nice to Chazwick, Ellen. If you expect a ride _anywhere_, it'll be through him."

I admit, I was a complete jerkass to her that night. I just didn't appreciate an attempt on my life for something as innocent as suggesting a man take care of his woman and child. I wasn't suggesting he did _all _the work and breadwinning, while she stay home barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen. I just had the balls to suggest a man help her raise her baby.

Wait. I forgot. That's a nonissue. Because _she_ won't be raising her baby. _I_ get to raise her baby.

* * *

"Put it down, we need to talk," I said as Chaz took his beers out of the case.

"What?" he snapped, ignoring it.

"Tell me what's going on between you and Ellen." I had no interest in bush-beating. He raised an eyebrow.

"You want her?"

"Please," I said, almost with a sneer. I had no interest in that woman at the time, and was still not pleased with how the previous night went down.

"Then take her." Somehow the intent didn't get across.

"I left her specifically for you."

"And I might still take her."

"What, once she gets her body back - _if_ she gets her body back." I couldn't believe him.

"Do you remember her? She was something before."

"Chazwick, answer me plainly: what do you want in life?"

"Like what?"

"Is your goal in life to do every cute girl you meet until you knock her up and then walk out like nothing ever happened?" No girl deserved that.

"The 'knocking up' part strays a bit from the plan."

"Wait, what?" I...I just... "When I asked you about Ellen freshman year, you said you liked her. You didn't say you wanted to tap it. You said you wanted to tap Kay, and Genesis. You never said that about Ellen. You told me you _liked her_."

"I just said, if you want her, Fin, have her."

"I don't want her!" I stood suddenly. I was tired of hearing the accusations from myself that I liked her. Once upon a time, perhaps; I can't deny freshman year's crush, but I certainly couldn't stand to live my life with that woman. "I might honestly take anyone but her! I left her for you! You told me you liked her, and I'm willing to bet you told her the same thing. And you got in, and spun pretty words and guess what, she _believed you_. That woman is in love with you, Chazwick, and you're planning on just abandoning her? The only reason she kept the baby as long as she did when she told us was because she was torn between her degree and _your child_." I drew several breaths before continuing. "She loved you, and hoped that perhaps since it was yours, you'd stay for the baby."

Chaz slammed his beer down; It exploded. "The girl isn't as smart as she thinks she is, if she thought a baby could make a man stay. It's against nature: man is supposed to spread his seed around the ladyfolk, and the ladyfolk raise the young."

"It wasn't about being _smart_, dipshit, I just told you she was hopeful!"

"If you care so much about her, why don't you take her?"

"Because she's batshit _insane_!" I finally screamed, losing my head completely. "She acts like a frosty bitch as long as I've known her, and the second she gets laid, she becomes a completely different person!"

"It changes people," Chaz said, dumping the rest of his exploded beer down his throat.

"Not to mention her opinions and her points seem to mean more to her than her life."

"I thought you realized by _now_ she's got a lot to say."

"Yeah, but she doesn't have to sabotage my driving. Nearly drove us off the road because I dared say something she disagreed with."

Chaz put the beer down and sighed. "She probably wouldn't be making our lives hell if you hadn't insisted."

"Oh, ok, now we're blaming all this on me?"

"It's kinda your fault."

Was he being totally serious? He's trolling, bluffing, just trying to antagonize, but he can't _possibly_ believe that _I'm_ to blame for this. My face went from contorted in anger and frustration to blank and numb.

"W...What?"

"You know we can hear you down the block, right?" Both our attention turned to Ellen, burdened with two heavy bags, just having arrived from what must've been the bookstore.

"And? What did you hear?" I kind of didn't want to know.

* * *

_It ran over, so I'm stopping here._


End file.
